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| Someday even your dishes will be washed by machines! |
| 12.31.05 (9:44 am) [edit] |
Click the button to listen to a podcast of this post.Happy New Year Boys and Girls! I'm sorry. I got too busy yesterday and didn't copy any transcripts. I'm off today so I'll get to it later. Just a couple of funny things that happened yesterday... I am an audio-book addict. It started after my divorce as a way to quiet the voice in my head constantly barraging me with loud thoughts I was simply too worn out to listen to any more. As it's happened, I've found that the habit has allowed me to go back into a business I'd been in many years ago with a much greater sense of relaxation and satisfaction because though the work is sort of mindless, now I listen to books of all sorts while I work. The time passes far more pleasantly than I could have ever imagined when I did the same stuff as a younger man. I wear out little walkman style cassette players to the tune of about one every two and a half months. I simply wear out the motors. I used to get upset about it, but now I've realized that about 750 hours is the limit for those things, no matter what brand you buy. Most have AM/FM radios as well and I have about a half dozen of the things laying around that still work just fine as radios, but alas, I need the spool motors to work for them to be any good to me. I'd like to go to CD's or an MP3 player exclusively, but I get my books from the library and most of them are still on cassette. Anyway, I needed a new one and yesterday I went to Best Buy to pick one up. All that to get to this... A group of four kids were walking in in front of me. They were all between twelve and fourteen years old I'd guess - all boys. Every one of them was talking on a cell phone as they walked in. It struck me as hilarious. Night at the Roxbury... squared. Then I went into the store and went to find what they called the "personal sound systems" section. No cassette players. The section had been pretty well picked over for Christmas, so I figured they were out. I found an employee and asked him when they'd be getting more cassette players in stock. If I could describe the way he looked at me... He actually looked me up and down and sneered. "We don't carry ANYTHING having to do with cassettes, sir." "Oh." I said, realizing I'd just asked Bill Gates if he'd heard about them newfangled meee-chanical adding machine thingies I'seen advertised in the Sears n' Robuck while I was sittin' in the outhouse back behind the shack.... So... I went to Target and chose from five models. Then I stopped at the grocery store, got some coffee at the internal Starbucks for two bucks, and stocked up on a few things. What freaked me out was that I paid $4.01 for two medium sized hot-house tomatoes. When did that happen? I'm starting to feel like Wilfred Brimley looks. HAPPY NEW YEAR! And? You know the rest. |
| Say goodbye! |
| 12.29.05 (5:41 pm) [edit] |
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Click the button to listen to a podcast of this post... Good evening Boys and Girls! surrogate here... Well Jesus left today. He was planning on staying till Monday, but he received a call this morning and then immediately asked me to take him to the airport here in town. He wouldn't talk about what had come up except to say he felt he had to go deal with something right away. I waited while he bought a last-minute one-way ticket to Dallas via Chicago and then, immediately, he had to go down into the gate area beyond security so I couldn't wait with him for the flight. He apologized for having to go so abruptly, but said he'd come back sometime next month for a few days if he could. I have exactly three hours and forty-five minutes of conversation recorded between us to splice up into as many posts as I think will be interesting. Right now it looks like about five decent posts and a couple more silly ones where he told some stories that are definitely worth hearing, but aren't at all serious. The other day I was telling him about the big debate and all the comments on pastordave's blog about his friend Kyle. I printed out all the comments for him to read, because he didn't like scrolling through them all in the little box, then we talked about it a little. It didn't really seem to capture his attention all that much, which surprised me. About the strongest thing he had to say about the whole post and all the comments was that he thought I came off as an arrogant jerk. I conceded he was right about that and I promised to try not to be so damn rude in my commenting. He always turns things around like that. As soon as I start finding fault in something or someone, he reminds me to take care of my own faults before criticizing others... no matter what. And yet I rarely feel any real sting from him correcting me because he does it in such a tactful manner that it ends up feeling, even though what he's saying is obviously correct, that it's something I already knew deep inside and he's just reminding me. We talked about the war a little and things he'd observed when he's been over there. He's been to Iraq eight times since the war started, but hasn't stayed for more than a couple of weeks on any of those trips. Some of what he said surprised me. We talked about the new Pope a little and a few minor concerns he has regarding where the Catholic Church is headed. He talked for a long time about his unflagging optimism for all of us and how he thinks that within another couple of hundred years, most of the reasons for war will have been obliterated, which evolved into him discussing the war on terror and how he thinks even that will eventually be resolved, though his reasoning and theories on the subject were a bit beyond my grasp. I'll make sure I put that section up tomorrow if I can. It's just fascinating to listen to him. Some of the conversation was personal, and even though I recorded it, I won't put any of that stuff up here because when you talk to Him, your guard goes down quickly and you say things that you'd never feel comfortable saying to another living soul, or at least that what happens to me. It was a nice time, though as always, too short. But? No lamb-chop dinner Friday. Oh well. Bummer. Be good to everyone. |
| Conversation -part 2 |
| 12.28.05 (10:12 pm) [edit] |
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Click the button if you're extra bored... Good evening Boys and Girls... Sorry this has taken so long to get up. This is just a random exchange from the 26th that I thought folks might get a kick out of. Jesus: So, why do you drink so much coffee? You know that much of anything can't be good for you. sur: I know. I'm a caffeine addict. I crave the stuff. Jesus: Well, just because you crave it doesn't mean you have to give in to the craving. Come on, that's childish. sur: I know... geez, you hassle me about this every time I pour a cup. It's not like I'm an alcoholic. It's coffee for goodness sake. Jesus: I know, but... sur: Do you have anything you crave? I know you're perfect and all, but isn't there anything you just absolutely... crave? Jesus: Hmmm. Well, not really. I like just about any kind of food. I don't eat all that much meat but I do love lamb chops... Especially when they're grilled. sur: Really? Wow. Me too. Wish I'd have known, I'd have made 'em for Christmas dinner! I'll get some tomorrow or Wednesday... I've got a little grill here... It's out on... Jesus: Yeah I saw it. On your little porch. I'd love that. I'll make some baba ganoush. It's perfect with lamb chops.... and the recipe I use is really easy. Can you get a couple of eggplants and some tahini? I think you have everything else... there's a couple of lemons in the fridge... garlic.. sur: Wow. that'll be great... Let's do it Friday night. I'll invite a couple of people over. You know... I've noticed that you always mention that your Mom kept a Kosher home, but you don't seem to worry about whether what I've ever served you is Kosher. And you eat at restaurants all the time. Jesus: When in Rome... I haven't worried about that stuff for a long long time. Those are just more rules that once had real meaning but now are just symbolic... and I'm tired of symbols. The more people worry about the little rules, the more easily the big messages are lost... sur: The devil is in the details? Jesus: Hah! Exactly! Can I turn this thing off? (coffee-maker) sur: Yes, thanks. So, here's the thing, you preached rules... What about the beatitudes? Jesus: No... Now think about them, especially when you compare them to the ten commandments, which I was trying to replace in peoples' minds as a more positive way to approach life, though... -Do you want to get into this tonight? sur: Up to you... I'm recording. Jesus: Well, tell you what, you finish your coffee, I'm going to go for a little walk... -twenty minutes. Then, we'll sit down and talk for a while. Would you put some water on in a few minutes for tea for me? sur: Sure... You going as far as Walgreens? Jesus: Yeah. That's where I'm going actually. I want a candy bar. You want anything? sur: Sure... mind getting me one? Jesus: Nope. Kit Kat? sur: Sure. Here. (I try to hand him money) Get me some smokes too please. Jesus: Uh, I don't think so. sur: (laughing)... No tricking you huh? Jesus: (shaking his head) Man you have some bad habits. I'll be back. Be good to everyone. |
| Deer in the headlights |
| 12.27.05 (10:20 am) [edit] |
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Good morning Boys and Girls... If I have time I'll post more conversation tonight. Today Jesus and I are going over to Lake Michigan to look at the ice flows, assuming the rain the last couple of days hasn't completely decimated them. I have some business over that way and he want's to walk along the beaches and drifts. It's funny, Jesus tells me all the time that what he says is not really going to be listened to by very many people, and that he feels it's always been that way really. People get so worked up by the stuff they learn from their religious leaders that his simple messages seem either too easy or too unrealistic to pay much attention to. And maybe he's right. It way more fun to believe all kinds of weird stuff that takes away our responsibility to just live a good and simple life, love our fellow men, do all we can to avoid conflicts with others and rectify them when we can if we find we've done wrong along the way. I remember one of the first conversations we ever had, when I was having a hard time accepting the guy for who he told me he was. I told him about two brothers I knew years ago when I was living in Cincinnati in the mid-eighties. They were really nice guys with whom my wife and I became friends. They both sold cars and had just the most wonderful senses of humor and were both very active in a Church near our house. They seemed to like to tell people about their faith a lot and we listened politely whenever they'd start in. Both were Deacons (lay leaders) and seemed to enjoy quoting scripture whenever a verse came to mind that they felt fit whatever the situation was. It was fun for a while, but it did get a little tiring sometimes. The younger of the two brothers lived a few blocks from us and his children attended the elementary school associated with their church instead of the public school down the street. They were very strict as far as some of their "rules." The women had to wear skirts, never pants, they weren't allowed to go to movies, or dance.... that sort of thing. One day, soon before we moved back to Michigan we were at the mall. We ran into the wife of the younger brother there with her oldest daughter. She looked at us with a fearful stricken look and started talking fast right away... "Oh... I just couldn't take it any more. All those RULES... It finally got so I felt like I was living in a prison. I know I'm just backsliding... but... " And her daughter piped in. "It's okay Mom... We're not doing anything wrong. It's just stupid, that's all." - and she was looking up at her Mom, trying to comfort her, holding her hand tight. I had no idea what the heck she was talking about, but I looked over at my wife who was nodding sympathetically, she was always more attuned to other people's hurts than I was. "It'll be fine." my wife said. "I don't know what I'm going to do..." the lady said again and started to shrink away with her daughter. "Bye..." I said and waved and turned, my wife now dragging me away in the other direction. "What was that all about?" I asked. "She looked like a scared rabbit." "She was." my wife said. "Why?" "Did you even see what they were wearing?" "Uh... no... Well, they both had winter coats on and jeans. The daughter had boots." "Yeah. Exactly!" "What the...?" "They aren't ALLOWED to wear pants... she told me all about all the rules she has to live by in that church they belong to... I told you about it." "She was that upset because we saw her in... jeans?" "Yep. Probably afraid you'll tell Bob." "Me? What the hell do I care what she wears?" "Your a man... In her world men rule the roost." "Jeez...." Wacky. But? -it happened, and not all that long ago. And all in the name of Jesus... Such folly. As though Jesus has an opinion on clothing. I'm not sure why this story jumped up from the memory banks. Maybe it's a non-sequitur. I'm not sure. I don't even want to bother trying to explain how it connects to so much of what still goes on in other forms even in churches where there IS no dress code and anything goes music-wise. Still, Jesus' real message, seems to take a back seat to other little bites still meant to place one group of people above another based on acceptance of those the bites AS the message. Does this even make sense? I suggest a new creed: Love God, love your friends and foes... Be good to everyone. |
| Conversation... Post one. |
| 12.26.05 (11:57 am) [edit] |
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Click the button to hear a really bad podcast of this post Good morning Boys and Girls... Last night Jesus and I were watching a couple of specials on MSNBC. One dealt with the Christmas stories as told in the Gospels and discussed some of the discrepancies between the various tellings. The other was about the growing evangelical movement in the U.S. and the mega-churches they spawn. Once they were over we started talking and a few minutes into the conversation I remembered to turn on my little digital recorder. Jesus: yeah... some of that I remember, some of it I don't. I sure remember going to Jerusalem as a boy. That place was something to see for a kid from our town. sur: But what about living in Egypt? Did you do that? Live there? Jesus: I don't think so, but maybe we did. We spent most of my childhood in Nazareth as I remember it. sur: Why the discrepancies in the Gospels? Jesus: I've never known really. Everyone wants to tell a story the way they feel it'll have the most impact. None of the discrepancies matter though. They're just what? novelizations anyway. Think of the way a story is covered today even here in the U.S. The Networks play it one way, CNN and MSNBC another way, Fox another... Everyone has their own reasons for saying things in a way that promotes whatever the underlying agenda is. It's just human nature. Now think about the fact that the Gospels were written decades after the fact by folks who were recording what they'd heard. There's no mystery as to why the things are different from one book to the next. sur: Well then how can the Bible be the "Word of God" then? If it's not accurate, it seems like God wouldn't put it out there... Jesus: sur, you still don't get it. I think the Bible IS the word of Dad... that has nothing to do with it all being true, factual or accurate... Think about it. Part of the purpose, one anyway, I think, is to show the growth people have achieved over the centuries. In Bible times, in both testaments, killing, for instance, by both governments and small groups of people was an acceptable and common practice for even minor infractions in what was then the law. Slavery? Commonplace... accepted. Human sacrifice? In the old testament we WATCHED that change... and by the time I was preaching, it had pretty much ended in most of the world. Think about it... sur: But Jesus, oh, sorry for interrupting... Jesus: It's okay... what? sur: I mean... The creation story, for instance... you know what's going on in this country. There's a debate over... Jesus: I know... Look. You are always going to have some people who think that if the Bible is the inspired word of God... Dad, then they think every word nas to be true. Nothing to be done about it. That's their thing... sur: But Jesus, they think that's what YOU want... for them to believe that. Jesus: I know. It's a dilemma. Some people seem to have no problem with certain metaphors and completely ignore others and... sur: Well... Set 'em straight. Jesus: Come on. You know very well that would never work. The very same people so absolutely positive about what they believe would never believe anything I said on the subject. We just saw that special... those people aren't going to listen to one tiny thing that goes against their idea of what it means to be a Christian - regardless of what I say. Once in a while someone starts to get it...But, you heard that preacher... He doesn't care about what I said about prayer... he's found a market. Whatever works to keep those folks feeling all "I'm better than you." he'll make use of it. If it doesn't play into that hand? He'll ignore it. How many times did I talk about abortion? sur: um... you didn't. Jesus: Right. How did I tell people to pray? sur: Alone, quietly. Jesus: Right... but that won't help him make his church a big ol' carnival now will it? So? He'll ignore it. Did I talk about gay marriage? sur: no, but you did... Jesus: Yeah yeah... But, sur, what trumps everything? How did I prioritize things? We've talked about this before. But, what you have to remember, is that if these folks can't have others to feel better than, the whole movement would shut down in a heartbeat... The whole movement is based on cherry picking tiny morsels of my words while carefully ignoring my overall themes. It's amazing. For now? we just ride it out. This sort of thing will eventually lead to more than a few of them self... sur: Them? Jesus: The ringmaster of those circuses. You watch... over the next few years more than one of them will have big falls. sur: Are you saying that none of them are sincere? Jesus: I am. I don't think even one of them could be smart enough to build up their business as quickly and as large as they have and not also know that they do it by playing on peoples' fears and insecurities and by using the same kinds of tactics they see working at their brother and sister mega-churches. It's a simple business formula. sur: Jesus... you sound so cynical? Jesus: Not about people in general, but these latter day pharisees? They really annoy me. We'll pick this up tomorrow. Be good to everyone. |
| cool post from DrForbush |
| 12.26.05 (8:27 am) [edit] |
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http://drforbush.tblog.com
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| Merry Christmas - J |
| 12.25.05 (10:04 am) [edit] |
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Merry Christmas Everyone! Today is my birthday. Or at least, today's when it's celebrated. Pretty sure the year is right... though I'm really not sure. Surprising how many people care about the actual day... I've never understood the concern. I was born in Bethlehem in a small stable. My Mother and Father were wonderful people who really had a lot to deal with before, during and after my birth that they didn't ask for or complain about. My Father was a carpenter. He was good at his work and seemed to enjoy it immensely. He made an awful lot of tables and benches and he had a special knack for joining wood in a way that made for extremely strong doors. Not many people know it, but he had a great reputation for many miles around. Obviously, travel was far more difficult in those days and he preferred to work in his shop whenever possible so he made a series of really cool carts to take his wares from the shop to customers' houses for delivery purposes. One of his major annoyances, though it ended up being profitable for him, was that as soon as he'd get a cart made for his own use, someone would want to buy it... So for a few years, he ended up making cart after cart in between his other jobs. I learned his trade too and by the time I was in my late teens, I did a lot of the scut work around the shop along with helping him on just about everything he made. I learned to cut boards, oil and then dry them (a process that kept insects from making their homes in the wood we used) and I helped my Father perfect a method for making wedge shaped nails that seemed much stronger than those that were available from the smelters. I worked for my Father for almost fifteen years off and on, and I learned an awful lot about dealing with people from him. My Mother had a wonderful sense of humor and I don't remember seeing her upset very often in my childhood. I was precocious in some ways and had a sense of curiosity that had to be trying for her to deal with, but she was always patient with me and kept our home kosher, warm, and always loving. I'm a Jewish man. Sometimes people forget that. I studied the Torah growing up but I never had anything to do with the rest of the Bible of today. I didn't have anything to do with how historical events would be recorded having to do with my life and only met a handful of the people who purported to know me personally... I'm not complaining about it mind you... just pointing out fact. In my entire life I probably preached to less than a hundred thousand people, and most of them only heard me once. I remember that once, toward the end of my preaching days, one of my friends made the joke that if everyone who claimed to have seen me walk on water actually had, that the lake itself would have been swamped dry simply by the displacement of bodies - making the feat moot. I wish the miracle myths hadn't captured the public's fancy so strongly, as it certainly has gotten in the way over the years from what I'd always hoped to accomplish. Who knows... maybe someday people will realize what an incredible gift this planet is and quit thinking of it strictly in terms of it being a place for countries and nations. I have no axe to grind about people being proud of where they're from, but when that becomes more than just a warm sense of "home" and seems to so easily evolve into one group of people thinking they're better than another? Well, it's folly. It's incredibly short sided and an affront to Dad... And here, I'm not talking about Joseph. I wish you all peace today and for all days. I pray that someday you all realize that you cannot be a follower of my teachings and justify wars of aggression. I pray that you learn that your lives can be as full as they need to be if you develop the talents Dad gave you and put them to use for the good of your fellow man and your home planet. I pray that you stop worrying so much about what happens when you die and instead concentrate on the living the life you've been given in a loving and peaceful way. And to that end? I pray that you quit splitting hairs on what I meant when I said to turn the other cheek. It's one Bible quote that's darned accurate... and it's one of the smartest things I ever said. Merry Christmas everyone! With all my love to all of you, may you love and feel loved. -J |
| Bull. |
| 12.24.05 (7:54 am) [edit] |
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Click the button to listen to a podcast of this post. Good morning Boys and Girls. surrogate here. Tomorrow Jesus will write a Christmas post. Some people are just plain unreachable.... Anyone remember the movie "Ferris Bueller's Day Off?" There's a wonderful scene in the movie where the kids are at the art museum and Cameron is staring at a picture by Seurat. The camera pulls in closer and closer in a series of about a dozen shots till the focal point is nothing more than irregularly colored dots on the canvas. The wonderful piece of art is reduced to... globs. The closer Cameron looks? The less he sees. That tends to be what "Bible believing Christians" do to that wonderful book. They look so closely at each individual word, verse or chapter, that the incredible transitions, and dreams, and fables, and parables, and metaphors, and fantasies, and even the ancient laws, all of which make up what is just a wonderful text when taken as a whole, end up being minutely dissected globs. Then? The individual globs become justifications for all kinds of awful awful... crap. And then some people base their beliefs and faith on those globs without even realizing it, none of which individually, (or even collectively) have anything to do with the story as a whole. A car has ten to fifteen thousand parts. Even if you know about each and every one, it doesn't make you a good driver. And even if you have all the parts lying there, it's still NOT even the car! When I was a kid, a friend of mine's Father would justify his racist views by stating that in the Bible, dark skinned people were slaves - meaning that's what they should always be. He was a lay-minister at an Assembly of God Church. He certainly wasn't alone in his thinking. Hell, there are still plenty of people who think the same way today. This same type of thought kept women down (and still does, really) for millennia. Fear of homosexuality and homosexuals is the last battleground for such folks. And? They tend to find it perfectly acceptable to use specific Bible quotations as justification for their sorry take on the world God made and the sexual disposition of some five to ten percent of his inhabitants. My thinking is that if you gave these sorts polygraphs, you'd find they're still racists and think women should be subservient at heart. And it's usually these same folks who are so wrapped up in the "saving" of other's souls. They'll rail about "the decline of culture" and "the sanctity of a one man, one woman marriage" while trying to figure out more clever and socially acceptable ways to vent the hate, that at the core, is all that fuels such rhetoric, no matter how it's tempered or cloaked. I say expose it for what it is - always and loudly. I have NO concerns that people (our children) will be "converted" to homosexuality. It just doesn't happen. I never made an adolescent "choice" to be a heterosexual. I simply saw girls and was attracted to them. It's the exact same for homosexuals except they still have to deal with our society's prejudices and narrow little interpretations of miniscule mentions in a book that also says in other tiny globs that women shouldn't worship when they're menstruating, that Jesus will come back and slay his enemies, and hundreds and thousands of other things that, taken individually, make the book worthy of banning, but when taken as a whole make it an awe inspiring and wonderful thing. Quit hating. Quit judging and quit fearing. And for goodness sake, if you can't, realize it's something YOU have to work on, not the people you castigate for being different from you. I trimmed this by seventy-five percent and it's still way too long, but... Be good to everyone. |
| Hello. |
| 12.23.05 (7:43 am) [edit] |
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Good morning. Jesus reporting today. Thought I'd handle some of the more light-hearted questions people have asked so when surrogate and I talk, he's not peppering me with them. Plus he didn't see the humor in the questions that I do. I know first hand that people don't get me even being around, but not much I can do about that. PastorDave asks three questions... (1) Can He make a rock too heavy for Him to lift? (From smarty, know-it-all teen who sits in the back and feigns to be asleep) I understand the question, but I'm not stronger than anyone else my size and weight, I don't work out really but I'm in very good shape. I don't make rocks. Dad started the whole shebang so I guess you could say he did, or does and certainly there are billions of rocks I can't lift. (2) Why did He make me flat-chested? ("Anonymous", but I think I know the source) Genes. Sorry. (3) Do dogs go to heaven? (Ms. Maggie, who pet and best friend of 16 years recently passed away) Ms. Maggie, don't worry about your dog. Remember and love the memories. From userfriendly, we got this: I don't think jesus would ask you to give up your bed. I'm sure he would gladly take the couch. If he isn't content with that, just remind him of what he had to sleep on 2,000 years ago. It's okay to be a follower, and still stick it to the man when he's out of line. The arrangement usually works better that way anyway. I did take the couch. mistykalrain said (kiddingly): Could you please discreetly poke around and see if maybe he took some silverware when he was here last? We're missing a ladle and some forks..... I swear it wasn't me. almsthvn asks: Does he prefer showers or baths, and does he actually get wet or does the water naturally part for him? I prefer baths. I usually end up taking showers. I get wet. sweetsue asks: Ahh..wonders if he got to see Barbara Walters special the other night about Heaven..would love to know his take on that one. I didn't see it but I understand it was quite beautifully done. Sounds like its going to be a good few days..but what's his plans for Christmas? I'll be here at surrogate's. He's inviting a couple of friends and there are a couple of people I've invited with surrogate's permission. We're going to have a fairly traditional American Christmas dinner from what I understand. I'm looking forward to it. ruined commented: I didn't know Jesus snored. I feel better about myself, now. Except, you could call mine more of a snort. At any rate, is that caused by a deviated septum, or just by being in a deep slumber? I've never been told I snore before. i don't have a deviated septum, so I'll assume either surrogate made it up or that I was just extremely relaxed. Our bawdy, says: Ask Jesus if he was tempted to come back in the eighties to appear on the show That's Incredible! I mean, sure some pretty neat feats were performed on the show, but no one was walking on water, turning water into wine or raising the dead back to life or anything on it. Ratings would have skyrocketed! And if you turn water you've walked on into wine, does the dirt from your feet act as a catalyst? No. I was never tempted to appear on "That's Incredible." Userfriendly's second question is actually more serious and I will touch on it in the next few days. Both PastorDave and sweetsue have asked me to clarify the date Christmas is celebrated. I really cant. I was a baby. I don't remember any more of my birth than any of you. I will say I don't think it matters much though. December 25th is fine with me. Some people celebrate my birth on different days, which is also fine. It just isn't important to me. Thanks for the questions. I'll write again on Christmas Day. I know surrogate has some things he wants to talk about tomorrow then on the 26th we'll start posting transcripts of our conversations. Love Dad, yourself, your friends and enemies. Make sure you have plans to be with people you love sometime over the next few days. |
| Got him back here safely... |
| 12.22.05 (6:45 am) [edit] |
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Click the button if you'd like to hear a pod-cast of this post. Good morning Boys and Girls! surrogate here. Well, we got back here about ten last night. Nice trip for me. We were up half the night watching T.V. of all things but it was a blast! Jesus is still asleep by the way, right around the corner here on the couch. He was tired by the time we got back here and he didn't want to do much. I'd been telling him on the way back how much I enjoy watching "the Daily Show" on Comedy Central most weeknights and we turned it on after he made a pot of some really good tea he brought with him. He flew in from England where he'd spent the weekend with a couple of other friends. They gave him the tea from what I understand. It was good too... tasted like regular black pekoe but with a hint of spearmint in it... So anyway, "the Daily Show" was a repeat and we ended up just talking till he grabbed the remote and started flipping. I didn't know what channel it was on but eventually he came to a British production (at least all the actors had high crust British accents) of the life of Jesus! Oh man, I'm not sure I've ever laughed so hard in my life as I did sitting there watching Jesus' face as he cringed at some of the scenes. He didn't comment all that much but every now and again he'd sigh in exasperation which sounded to me like he was screaming "NO! That is not what I said..." or "Come on! How can you get this so wrong!..." It was involuntary on his part but every time it happened I couldn't help cracking up and laughing hard - prompting dirty looks from Jesus - which would send me off again! Just now I poured some coffee for myself and put another blanket back over him. His feet weren't covered. He's snoring softly and looks quite content. Today I have to work a few hours and I'm dropping him off at a mall. He's meeting a friend at Panera Bread for lunch at noon, but he said he'd find plenty to do till I'm done working. Tonight we're not doing much except making dinner and probably starting to figure out what we're going to talk about for the next few days. He's really quite organized about that sort of thing and gave me a list he made on the flight over of a few things he doesn't want to forget to get to. It is funny. I met him the first time at a coffee shop a few years ago and he looks exactly the same. He's tried to explain that how he looks to me won't ever change but that he appears and sounds differently to other folks. I've given up trying to understand it, and I'm absolutely positive it doesn't matter. I only bring this up because at one point last night he started imitating the actors voice on the tube playing Jesus... It was hilarious! He's not real demonstrative but he was going whole hog with that one. Funny man. Incredible sense of humor really. When he laughs, which isn't often, it's like no laugh I've ever heard. I'm feeling pretty privileged right now. Come on folks... some real questions. Enough funny ones... and I promise I'll ask him the funny ones too, if I don't think he'd be insulted. Enjoy your day people and? Be good to everyone! |
| Visitor arriving tomorrow night! |
| 12.20.05 (7:15 am) [edit] |
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Click the button to listen to a pod-cast of this post Good morning Boys and Girls! surrogate here... Jesus called last night to give me his flight number and arrival time for tomorrow night. I'm trying to clean up my place a bit and have been trying to decide whether he'd rather have the bed or the couch... Guess I'll let him decide tomorrow night. We won't get back here till after nine or later if we stop to eat. He did ask that anyone with questions they'd like for him to discuss over the next week or so to please send them as tmails to me... or comments if you don't care if they're anonymous. I'm figuring I'll try to get him to write the posts for Christmas day and maybe Christmas Eve, but other than that, we'll post sections of any discussions we have. I try to make them interviews, but mostly it seems to end up being him just riffing on whatever we start yapping about. I tried to get him interested in letting me broadcast the recordings of our talks as pod-casts, but he said he didn't think that would be a good idea since so many of us would recognize his voice and might be surprised by that... but I'll try twisting his arm on that one. If not, I'll just read the transcripts myself which he's already said would be fine. I'm excited about this stay. Last year he visited for about ten days in January, and it made me feel pretty darn good. I've seen him twice this year for mini-visits when he's been on his way to somewhere else, and I did take him to Chicago late last winter after convincing him that the drive wouldn't take much more time than flying after getting to the airport early and trying to arrange transportation at the other end, but this stay will be more gratifying - at least for me. So... send me questions. We'll work them in or consolidate them if we get two or more similar ones on any given subject. Cool! Be good to everyone! Please read DrForbush today. http://drforbush.tblog.com |
| Monday before Christmas |
| 12.19.05 (7:51 am) [edit] |
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Click the cute little button to listen to a podcast of this dumb post! Good morning Boys and Girls! This is the week before Christmas. Let's see... It's cold (check) There's plenty of snow (check) The merchants are running sale after sale (check) There's a debate over what to call the holiday in the media (check) I've heard fifteen or twenty new variations on "Silent Night" (check) There was a newspaper story on "learning to be a store Santa" (check) Congress was up all night passing huge defense increases while gutting the safety net (check) My own prayers are pretty much the same as every year (check) ...and it seems that everything I do and all that I hope for slipped away and rolled a while and lays there by the door another misstep crushes if I don't watch wear I tread the glass is fragile, just like life despite everything that's said "maybe next year" I seem to think "or the year just after that" that "it" I crave will well in me - a softly purring cat for now? I just walk softly also catlike, in my living praying, eating, sleeping, working wanting, needing, giving for some reason I still can't pick it up perhaps my back is sore but I know that I can't reach it yet that last ornament, on the floor Be good to everyone. |
| Revenge is best served... not at all. |
| 12.17.05 (7:18 am) [edit] |
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Click the button if you'd like to hear a voice with a cold read this post! Good morning Boys and Girls! I didn't get many comments yesterday, but Bawdy commented on the Tookie Williams mention in the post, putting the onus on God to accept Tookie into Heaven if he was truly repentant, but that since Tookie caused death, was subsequently sentenced to death and finally put to death, that it was a good and righteous thing... especially for the families of his victims. Hmmm. I know it's how an awful lot of people feel about capital punishment. My gut just tells me it's not what we ought be doing. Revenge is Ice Cream to a diabetic. It's something craved that probably still isn't good for us. We've done away with it in most of society. Tit for tat is still certainly the realm of gangs, thug dictators and some small minded businessmen with fatter wallets than consciences, but it's frowned on most of the time... Perhaps I'd feel differently if a member of MY family was murdered, but? I don't think I would. I'd sure want the bastard to be off the streets, but I'd WANT him to become a better person if that was possible, recognize the wrong, and become a useful human, albeit behind bars. Seems to me that giving in to that, perhaps normal, but certainly base instinct of wanting to "get even" does nothing but make us no better than the murderer. And getting even IS the basis for capital punishment. It's the old "eye for an eye" mentality, and it just doesn't have a place in this world if trying to make the world a better place is our goal. I maintain that revenge isn't "closure." It's just... wrong. In fact, I submit that giving in to the desire for revenge might be the single biggest stumbling block we ourselves place in front of society... Why did Hitler come to power? Because the German economy was so decimated by the onerous sanctions in the Treaty of Versailles after WW1 (simple revenge) that the German citizenry was grasping for anything or anyone to change things... Remember, Hitler was ELECTED! Why are we at war in Iraq? Because we wanted revenge for 9-11, forget the "getting rid of Saddam" thing... We helped him for 25 years when we thought it was to our benefit... And forget that he had nothing to DO with 9-11... we wanted to go blow some things up and shoot people cuz WE were attacked, and Iraq looked doable, plus? Remember Saddam had orchestrated an attempt on GHWB. Nice little extra bit of revenge "justification" on the part of Sonny Boy. Revenge is ALWAYS wrong... and often very very stupid. Be good to everyone. |
| Phone call... |
| 12.16.05 (6:16 am) [edit] |
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Good morning Boys and Girls! Phone call last night. "Hello?" "Hi surr." "Jesus, oh man. I needed to talk to you. Thanks for calling." "I knew you needed to talk. Sorry I couldn't call yesterday." "Where are you?" "Baghdad. Zipped over to watch the election. Hell of a long flight from California. I was beat when I got here." "Oh. You went to the Tookie Williams execution thing didn't you?" "Yeah. Silly bastards. I hate feeling powerless. Poor guy. Talk about a guy who got the message... finally. Killing him was nothing but revenge. Made me sick." "Yeah. Figured you might be there... So, how did the election go?" "So far, so good. Too bad the U.S. can't get turn-out like this." "(Chuckle) One of these days. Think the parliament will be able to govern?" "No idea. We'll see. There are so many things that point to any government over here not holding, but hey I'm with you on this. I'd love to see it work out... The problem, is, as it's always been, that no matter when the U.S. leaves, all bets are off. There will be a civil war. The question is whether the country can survive it." "Can't you do anything about it?" "Nope. How many times do we have to have THIS discussion?" "I know. I know. Man, it's good to hear your voice." "So, you want to talk about it?" "My "it?" "Yeah. Your "it." "You know what going on?" "Of course." "That's good enough for now. You still coming in next week?" "Yep. Wednesday. I think I'm in at just after 6:00 p.m. Northwest." "Cool. I'll check your flight number. You'll be coming from London?" "Yes. Here to Germany, then on to London. I'm leaving today actually. I'll spend a couple of days in Cornwall over the weekend. I'll see your cousin if he's around." "Paul? He'll be around. He's still in the old Railroad station. Still funny to me that you're friends with him. He's anything but a..." "Believer? Yeah. True. But what a heart. He makes me laugh... God he hates you "Yanks." Too funny." "He likes me okay." "That's because you never talk to him. He still remembers you as a teenager." "Yeah... true." "I've gotta go surr. Everything will be fine. I promise." "Thanks for calling Jesus. Awfully good to hear your... I said that already didn't I? But really, right now especially." "Take care... And surr?" "Yeah?" "Relax." "Alright.... Bye." "Bye. (click)" Be good to everyone. If anyone's interested, the JIBJAB year-end review is quite funny and very well done. http://jibjab.com/Home.aspx |
| Hoping for... |
| 12.15.05 (7:14 am) [edit] |
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Good morning Boys and Girls. How many of us, without a grand plan for the future, simply do our best to get through each day as best we can? Sometimes it gets to the point where we don't allow ourselves to look forward to much, partially because of the Bumper Sticker logic that says, "People plan, God laughs" and partly because our own pasts seem to prove that comically poignant slogan all too definitively. I am there right now. It's just something that happens. -And whether or not there's a specific cause I can point to that has nudged me into that gray space, or whether it's a lack of faith in myself, or God, or my inability to see through fog that triggers it, when I get here, though I'll go through the day with a friendly smile on my face and sometimes even a heightened love of my fellow man because I'm sure that so many of the people I meet are living through worries far more serious than my own, I still find that my heart aches for the simplicity of just being contentedly sure about things for a while. Of all people, surely I have no right to tell others my opinions on the topics I talk about here. This too shall pass. Be good to everyone. |
| MaCain in 2000... please? |
| 12.13.05 (7:12 am) [edit] |
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Good morning Boys and Girls! The night before last I wasn't feeling up to snuff. I'd taken a couple of those non-drowsy over the counter remedies which tend to work okay for me, but have the side effect of causing me trouble staying asleep for very long after I've taken them. So, in the middle of the night, after some serious channel flipping, I found myself watching a C-Span town hall style meeting with John McCain from some Massachusetts college. It had been recorded a few days earlier. There are any number of issues I don't agree with John McCain about, and there are a bunch on which I do agree with him, but DAMN, I wish Karl Rove hadn't played his dirty tricks on that guy in 2000. Remember the phone calls to likely voters playing the race card suggesting he'd fathered "a black baby!" OH NOOOOOOOO! (One of the children he and his wife had adopted was a baby girl from India.) (Sorry... Karl Rove may or may not be treasonous, but he really is just the worst kind of asshole. - I always think Eddie Haskal meets the Wicked Witch of the West...) Anyway... I'm not sure of it, and I'd have still voted against him probably, but it's a good bet that McCain would have beaten Gore more easily than GW did (assuming GW really did win...) Had that happened I really think this country would be in far better shape than it finds itself today - both economically and militarily. Certainly the "homeland" (for some reason I hate that term with regards to the U.S. - makes me think "Amerika" with the "k") would be more secure since his ideas after 9-11 centered around doubling the Peace Corps and Ameri-Corps and tightening the security at our borders and ports along with going after Osama (remember him?) And, of course, that's assuming that 9-11 would have occurred at all under the watch of anyone who didn't deliberately ignore any information marked "URGENT - READ ME NOW" being passed on from the previous administration, or from their own Czar on terror, or from briefings from the C.I.A., or... McCain just strikes me as a man of integrity. I disagree with him even on how to best finish off our involvement in Iraq, though he's backing off his position, (which has been since we're there, we should increase the number of American troops by almost double in order to "get the job done") as unfeasible anyway, simply because we don't have the troops available. He talked about the corrupt foolishness of the current Medicare Prescription benefit bill that's just taking effect and how it needs to be overhauled immediately. He talked about his feelings regarding McCain-Feingold and how he considers it a first step only in campaign finance reform. He talked about his utter disappointment in his own party with regards to the number of people finding themselves in deep doo-doo ethically. And most importantly, to me anyway, using an example from his years as a P.O.W. -he emphasized how important it is to do the right thing "even if no one else will know." And why is that? Because, he said, "I will know." Wow. Contrast that guiding principle to the one that seems to steer the folks in the White House today, to whom even admitting a single mistake is considered a sign of weakness! Would I vote for McCain next time around assuming he runs? I doubt it. But? We could do a lot worse. Hell, we have! Twice in a row! -And remember, I'm a wacky liberal! By the way... I'll get back to doing podcasts of the posts the moment my voice comes back to it's normal sloppy self. Right this minute, it's just about nonexistent. Be good to everyone. |
| I hate when that happens... |
| 12.11.05 (11:10 pm) [edit] |
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Hello Boys and Girls! "surrogate reporting." "It seems that over the weekend an event of some magnitude occurred on the surface cap some sixty-seven miles North-Northwest of the North Pole creating an emergency situation for a small group of laborers and management personnel caught off guard by some sort of seismic disturbance. From what we've gathered so far, most have been unable to leave the small arctic settlement but - and we've been unable as of yet to ascertain why - there seems to be some sort of additional pressure being applied to the workers by the management to stay on site. Evidently "X Co. Inc." a non-profit corporation, has been operating on the same land for hundreds of years." "According to one worker, who's legs seemed to have been somewhat compressed as though he were holding something heavy above his head as the tremor, or whatever it was, started, the real problems have centered on trying to keep some of the animals on the property from simply flying away from their pens. These animals evidently are an integral part of the services provided by the corporation on what the same worker stated was a massive, even worldwide, scale." "We haven't been allowed inside the facility, but every now and then a spokesperson has come out to provide information to the pool feed." "Maybe we'll hear more now." (She taps and tests the microphone on the podium which has been set up outside the main office of the facility.) "First of all, I'd like you to understand that we are simply not in a position to answer many questions right now. However, I'll field a few after I've read this statement to you. First of all, we want everyone to know that, it's looking good. We don't think we're going to have to postpone anything, and barring any further mishaps, we're confident we'll be able to keep to our regular procedures leading up to and including all scheduled deliveries on Saturday, the 24th." (hands go up all around.) "Can you tell us what happened?" "Yes. What we first thought was an earthquake turned out to be a small explosion in a building we haven't used for many years. Unfortunately, because of the nature of the chemicals stored in that building, and our own failure to provide our internal health and safety department with adequate information about those obsolete and evidently highly deteriorated products, we simply didn't have any idea what was happening when the chain reaction leading to the explosion occurred." "Can you be more specific?" "Yes, of course. I'm sorry. Three of our employees..." "Elves?" "Yes, elves. Three of our elves were testing a new batch of heat resistant paint for use on some of the bake-ware in the new "Dolly's Cozy Kitchen" Collector's Edition and - well I suppose it'll come out eventually - evidently they'd been drinking a bit and one or more of them decided to see if the paint itself would act as a propellant in the "Johnny's Realistic Rocket" product we've been importing to augment our own production capabilities." "And?" "And, one thing lead to another till one of the "elves" tried pouring an entire quart of the paint into the rocket's fuel cell and ignited it. Unfortunately, this not only started a fire in the paint shop wiping out some two hundred thousand of the "Cozy Kitchen" ovens in the process of being powder-coated, but the rocket did in fact fire up and through the roof, it's arc cresting at approximately twenty-three thousand feet. It then plunged back down toward the earth at enormous speed, still flaming from it's tail section till it landed smack dab in the middle of the old storage building where in addition to the chemicals, about fifty other elves were involved in an unauthorized Texas Hold'em Poker Tournament." "Well, you can imagine the frenzy when it exploded, on contact. All the old solvents and chemicals stored in the facility also rapidly combusted and finally exploded causing the shudder we all thought was an earthquake." "Were there casualties?" "I'd just like to say that Santa's fine. He's been very busy though trying to get the reindeer calmed down. Any other questions?" "The warehouse? The Elves? How many were hurt?" "I'd rather wait until all the representative Unions and the families have been notified to comment any further on the status of the workers." "The... elves?" "Yes, um... just the elves." "Just the elves? Was Santa playing?" "That'll be all for now. Thank you...." Be good to everyone! |
| Am I say what mean, me? |
| 12.10.05 (9:01 am) [edit] |
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Hello Boys and Girls! surrogate here on a friend's laptop. Have I ever told you how much I hate typing on laptops? I know, I know, you just have to get used to them, but I haven't and therefore? My prejudice stands! Anyone else go through the never ending problem of never being sure that the point you're trying to make comes through as intended to the reader? Here in blogland I can only determine if the thrust of what I've tried to say has gotten through by the comments I receive. And, let's face it, the number of comments versus the number of apparent readers is fairly small for all of us, unless of course the counter thingys are so far off it's ridiculous. Nevertheless, we all count on our commenters to give us the only feedback we're going to get regarding whether what we've attempted to say has come anywhere close to being understood. So why is this important? Well, to me it's important since I know damn well I have to work hard at it, my talent level being a three and the subjects I tend to tackle being between five and seven on the ten point bloggers scale of "so exactly who the hell do you think YOU are?" You may be asking, (as I am) why am I writing this particular post? Then of course you have to ask yourself the further question (that I don't) -And why am I wasting my time reading it? Well, somehow I feel like much of what I've tried to say over the last few days has been either misinterpreted, or miswritten, the latter of which I'll guess is far more likely. And what's really annoying to me is that I've gone back and reread what I've written to see if I could find any glaring errors with regard to my not having said what I intended to say.... Nada. Now I don't mean I haven't made my usual number of grammatical errors or intentional scewing up of the language for the purpose of clarifying what I've meant without jumping up to a vocabulary level I'm unable to maintain, or that might take the (supposed) fun out of reading what I've written, but for the most part, I've said what I meant to say the way I've meant to say it and still, the comments tell me I'm not doing a good enough job. Damn. Damn, damn, damn. I don't WANT to go back to school to learn to write more clearly! But? Maybe I'd better. GRRRRRRR! Be good to everyone! |
| Kids, I got you the new Jesus-bot-a-saurus |
| 12.07.05 (8:33 am) [edit] |
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Click the button to hear a podcast of this post. Good morning Boys and Girls! surrogate here. Why is it that I get so upset when I hear Christians making the annual claims about how Christmas is under attack from (choose one or more) (a.) liberals (b.) atheists (c.) secularists (d.) humanists (e.) the government (f.) Santa Claus, or any of a dozen others? No one can alter the fact that Christmas marks the birth of Jesus. To my knowledge? No one is trying to. Being a Christian is NOT being a member of a "club" no matter how many little plastic fish you have stuck to the back of your car, or how many "WWJD" bracelets you have sitting on the top of your dresser, or how many people you brag to about your own conversion, or, for that matter, whether you've gone through the emotionally hypnotic process of "being saved." Christianity, according to Jesus? It doesn't exist. Not in the way it's commonly thought of in this world anyway. Oh I know, there are millions up millions of Christians out there dong their level best according to their understanding of what it means to live a Christian life, and I'm not disparaging their efforts either - or their faith. To me? There's a huge difference between being a Jesus "groupie" (a fan, if you will - someone who wants to associate them-self with the "band" and prides themselves with how many... oh what the hell - "album notes" they've memorized and little factoids about where and when things were recorded... someone who buys the t-shirts (Christian self help books) and posters (think Christian related gift items...) or, (and this is a biggie) claiming that the band they like is better than the band you like) - and people who allow themselves to be influenced by the "music" by actually listening critically to it and taking the thrust and gist of the compositions to influence their own work (life). Mainstream Christianity has ALWAYS been about increasing the "groupie" base while perhaps unwittingly ensuring that the main thrust of Jesus' teachings are kept relatively low in the audio mix, since if people simply followed the priorities Jesus laid out for living a good life, churches the way they've evolved, wouldn't exist since 95% percent of the things he said don't at all lend themselves to the self-righteous clubbiness so necessary to a church's existence. It's really quite simple. Want to be a "Christian?" Fine... go join a club (church), there are tons of them, and if you join the type getting so popular today, you'll feel quite superior to others (non-members) in no time. You'll decide everyone is out to get you, that the rest of the world is "anti-Christian," plus? -there are zillions of great souvenirs available to prove you're a member of your club. Or? Do what Jesus taught. It won't get in the way of anything in your life except perhaps hating and rationalizing evil deeds. When you pray? Do it privately. When you've deliberately wronged someone? Make it right. If you're attacked? Let it go. Don't retaliate, especially in any manner other than to directly protect yourself - and no vague extrapolations on what it means to protect yourself. Then? Love God, Love your friends and love your enemies. After those things are completely mastered? We'll worry about getting a little fishy for the back of our cars... shouldn't take more than a couple of hundred years.* Oh... and instead of announcing that you're a "Christian?" - simply show through your living that you're someone who loves what Jesus taught. It's more subtle, for sure, but it's what Jesus said to do. So... what's my point in a nutshell? Don't be a groupie. Write your own life's music using the staff and notation rules Jesus taught. And, the fact is, even if "they" finally DO deliberately and mean-spiritedly manage in "taking Christ out of Christmas"; even if "they" somehow eventually really shut down all the churches in some mad "anti-Christian frenzy of God-less-ness... IT WOULDN'T MATTER AT ALL! However could they stop people from heeding his words? Be good to everyone. *A funny thing. The fish was used as a secret symbol between followers of Jesus in the early days after his crucifixion. Now, they're used to announce publicly to the world that the owner of a car is a "Christian" in a time when those same Christians decry supposed systematic attacks on them and their faith yet I see no one attacked for such displays. Do you? Mocked? Perhaps. So what? Oh... hey, this is a cool new interview with my son from an Italian Progressive Music magazine. The question translations are a little iffy, but it's pretty neat. http://www.arlequins.it/pagin... |
| Chin up! Eyes forward! March. |
| 12.06.05 (12:22 pm) [edit] |
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Click on the button to listen to a podcast of this post. Good evening Boys and Girls! I've been driving an awful lot lately. I got an oil change November 15th at one of the quickie-lube places. They slapped the obligatory little transparent sticker on the top left corner of my windshield telling me when my next one was due (they seem to want you to get it changed every 3000 miles or every three months, whichever comes first... I go 4000 cuz I'm cheap) and this morning I noticed I'm already eight hundred miles beyond their recommendation miles wise but still two months shy of their "date" suggestion. My car is old, but it seems to be running very well after an unexpected transmission overhaul that did what unexpected major auto repair expenses always do to our attempts at living orderly lives, but all in all I suppose I can't complain. It's no bacardibreezer special (a fellow tblogger who loves little hot cars for those of you who aren't familiar with the reference) but I really like driving the thing. I had to renew my license a few weeks ago and just yesterday I realized that after receiving my new one in the mail, I'd slid it into the little slot in my wallet but hadn't taken out and thrown away the old one. I had my license out yesterday to cash a check and noticed the old one still there when I was putting the new one away. I pulled it out and started to toss it, but for some reason I looked at the tiny little seven year old picture of me and suddenly thoughts about how much my life has changed since that pic was snapped flooded through my head. Seven years ago I had one kid in college, one in high school and I'd been married to a woman I loved with all my heart for 21 years and we were smack dab in the middle of completely rebuilding our home, doubling its size and gutting and redoing what remained. I had a little business that I'd been at for about ten years at that point that was gradually easing its way to operating on cruise control and it looked as though we'd be in pretty darn good shape as the kids slowly made their life's migration from the nest and we headed into middle age. Looked at my younger self, a bearded visage, goofily smiling back at the me of today and couldn't help becoming momentarily bitter and angry at what most of these past seven years have wrought. Then I snapped back into the present, borrowed a pair of scissors from the teller and cut the thing up. Hard to be bitter and hopeful at the same time. Be good to everyone. |
| Please make your checks out to.... |
| 12.04.05 (7:13 am) [edit] |
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Click the button to hear a podcast of this post. Good morning Boys and Girls! So.... hmmm. I see yesterday's post garnered one comment. According to my little internal counter thingy it was read a bunch, but evidently my tone didn't leave room for people to feel comfortable responding... Oh well. I do get strident sometimes huh? Don't mean to. I'm sorry. Last night I fell asleep with the television on. A rarity, but, there you go. This morning I awoke to a Sunday morning worship service broadcast from a Mega-Church from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. An ironic thing actually. I lived and worked just west of Ft. Lauderdale from the very day the war started in Iraq till this past May when I returned to Michigan. You remember the day the war started don't you? All the great visuals of the bombs destroying Baghdad? Sure you do. It was like three or four days before President Bush declared victory and assured us that major combat operations were over and that we'd won... anyway... As it happened, I had business dealings with a couple of members of this particular Church while I was down there, which isn't all that surprising as the place has 40,000 members and grew from one to three locations just in the couple of years I was down there. In fact, one of my neighbors from a couple of doors down in our row of warehouse style shops was also a member, who continually invited me to attend the church with him and his family. This neighbor was a decent enough guy who'd been through his own hell during the eighties after being arrested and subsequently convicted on a serious drug distribution charge. He's about sixty now, I'd guess, so even in the eighties he wasn't a kid, and he made no excuses for his actions when he'd tell about the experience of living through his arrest and incarceration. He talked incessantly about these events with regards to his jail-house conversion without ever going into details about his criminal life which he did say lasted more than twenty-five years prior to "the bust." Understandable, I suppose, as his reason for bringing up his past at all centered around his well rehearsed schtick of testifying about the personal relationship he developed with Jesus while in the pen. He liked the stuff I was making. He bought one of my most expensive products from me! Though, he couldn't afford to pay for it all at once so he asked if he could pay me over a couple of months. No biggie. One thing I noticed this morning during the broadcast, which I watched more out of curiosity than anything else, was that the three pleas for cash to support the ministry came with subtle complaints that since Hurricanes Rita and Wilma, donations have been down significantly, and that for the ministry to continue it's cancer like growth, things were simply going to have to turn around, and didn't we, the viewing faithful, want to ensure that this was not an issue much longer? And then the strangest thing caught my attention. And I'm not kidding. The request was that checks be made out and sent to the minister (televangelist) personally. Not to the Church, or to "the ministry of so and so" as we've all seen many times in the past. No, donation checks were to be sent in the name of the minister himself. NOT the church. Pretty hard to do an audit to find out if the pastor's been commingling funds if he only takes the money sent to him personally, isn't it? Makes sense to me! Please send all donations in support of this blog to "surrogate" personally. I promise not to take any more of the money for my personal use than I feel like I want on any given day. But I do so want a Jacuzzi... and I'd look really classy and pious in a really cool car too, don't you think?... And donations have really tapered off since I started getting contentiously annoying in my posts... Plus? I still have that bad check from my neighbor who wanted so to get me to attend this Mega-Church with him and his family. Guess he learned his finances from his preacher... No biggie. Be good to everyone! |
| WWJD? Not this crap, that's for sure |
| 12.03.05 (12:58 pm) [edit] |
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Click the button for a podcast of this post. Good afternoon Boys and Girls... Listen: Screw old testament prophesies. I don't want to ever again hear people ever talk about how todays events are supposedly foretold in the Bible. I don't want to hear about NEW testament prophesies either. Enough with the latter day Rasputins. Armageddon. Please. The Rapture. Please Every other month some moron is out there making analogies having to do with whatever the event of the moment is as a sure sign that Jesus is coming back soon to do the voodoo Paul dreamed about in Revelations. Even Paul didn't mean it literally. Jeez! The premise of this blog is that the spirit of Jesus (re: his teachings on what matters in LIFE) is as alive today as HE ever was 2000 years ago. Every day it becomes easier and easier to see why there are so many people out there who can't get with the program as far as Christianity goes. It's because we've taken this incredible man, Jesus, this AMAZING man, and turned him into friggen Merlin or a carnival huckster of unparalleled proportions. "Step right up folks, I'll secure eternity for you... just believe in me, in the way these guys who misinterpret my words want you to (and forget or ignore the IMPORTANT things I said.) Forget that 95 percent of what I said was about how to live peacefully on EARTH, during this (your) LIFE, and instead, concentrate and believe literally in the metaphors I used that are SO off the wall and unimportant (since it's stuff no one could ever know, or needs to know to be a blessing to everyone you meet or have anything to do with) that soon you'll be able to justify all kinds of evil deeds in my name. Get "saved" everybody! That's the key! After that your place in heaven is guaranteed no matter what kind of crap you pull or allow others to pull - especially your leaders! If they "believe" in me too? Better still! Well then, now surely anything THEY do is okey-doaky too. In fact everybody, let's get to the point where not only can you justify ignoring me (in my name) but you'll be able to condemn others with, ready? It's a good one! Righteous Indignation-nnn--n--n--n! " No. I'm sick of it. If you think God values your life one iota more than he values the life of the worst person in the world? Forget it. Don't believe in God? Fine. Substitute "the cosmos," or "nature," or whatever works for you. Jesus would not be pleased with his current mainstream "Christian" image. I don't really know or care if the miracles attributed to Jesus ever took place as recorded. What I DO know is that, if they're what matter to you as "proof" of any kind as to Jesus' importance, or if if you think it matters whether or not he was born of a virgin, or if you "absolutely" believe he physically rose from the dead and think those who don't "aren't really Christians" (a term Jesus would eschew, by the way.) Then folks, you've cheapened him, his message and the ability of his words to work the real magic they can all over the planet, now and for all time, if we'd only let them. Having said that? Love God, your friends and foes and, Be good to everyone. |
| Live in a gray world... it'll be a sunny place! |
| 12.01.05 (8:31 am) [edit] |
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Click on the button to hear a podcast of this post. Good morning Boys and Girls. I tried to get this written last night. Couldn't get it done. It's a weird concept, at least for me, but damn it it makes sense. Many of us live by a series of "absolutes" we've fed into our heads over the years. We think what we think, we "know" what we know, and unless they're chiseled loose by experiences that force the issue regarding one of our personal absolutes? - all they do is become darker black or lighter white over the years till it gets to a point where no one can reach us well enough to ever shake loose any of the things we believe, no matter what. No matter whether we're actually right or wrong. We believe it? - therefore it is so. No matter if the beliefs we grip so tightly are actually part of the problem, oh hell, the whole problem! And? Nowhere in our psyches can our beliefs become as black and white, or pounded quite as rock hard, as they are with regards to our religious beliefs. The cornerstone of too many religions is that anyone who doesn't share the beliefs of that particular faith is either doomed, or in need of conversion by choice, coercion or force. It's black and white with no room for more than "token" acceptance of how others see the world. Over the centuries Christians have killed far more people than extremist muslims in the name of "wiping out the infidel." Funny isn't it? What we condemn? We are. Therefore, today, in the name of God, our children, and our children's' children, I beg this: If you've gotten to the point in life that you are so absolutely sure of your "faith" that you aren't willing to continually tap at the "bedrock" it has become, or if the black and white lenses through which you look at the world and others' actions and beliefs have become so opaque that all you can see is a reflection back through your own eyes? Stop. Why? Because it is this same "absolute sureness," the same "absolute certainty," that fuels the hate of the people doing things we all consider so abhorrent. And please? If you claim that the reason they are doing what they do is that theirs is a perverted splinter of the wrong faith? You've made my point. Be good to everyone. |
Cost of the War in Iraq
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American Deaths in Iraq:
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