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| Bunny Tail Tale |
| 01.27.09 (9:51 am) [edit] |
Good morning Boys and Girls.Last week, while in Iowa, I stayed at the hotel I've used as a base there from time to time until Friday night when I went to SweetLady's for the weekend. It's an older Ramada Inn in need of renovation, though I don't have any problems with the place. The rooms are clean and come with enough amenities to keep me happy, but they definitely scream "eighties" in terms of the furniture, carpet and wall art. I stay in room 112 when it's available, and one on either side of it when and if it's already occupied. I like that I can park just outside the room when, as seems to happen a couple of times a day, I have to run out to the car to get something. Next door is another hotel - surprise, surprise. It's a Marriot, though I can't remember which incarnation it is, if I ever knew; maybe a suites hotel? -I'm not sure. There are four or five Marriots clustered in a bunch right there on the same property and I haven't figured out which is which. Regardless, separating the properties between Ramada and the Marriots, is a berm about six feet high and ten feet wide that runs the length of the Ramada parking lot; at least seventy yards. It serves as a pleasant visual because it's well landscaped and there are fairly mature pines neatly spaced along the top of the ridge. At night, the parking lot's lights - mounted atop poles just higher than the trees and placed just at the edge of the asphalt - illuminate the setting beautifully, allowing whatever goes on at "ground-level", there along the top of the berm, to be seen easily. Well, every time I've stayed there, I've spent some time watching the dozen or more rabbits who seem to call the berm home. They zip back and forth; stop to chat with each other; and, every now and again, they fight with each other. It's a fairly constant thing, day or night; there are always rabbits out there. You can't look toward the berm for more than a minute before one or more of them show themselves; a constant show. I've always thought how much fun it would be to take my cat Roadie with me sometime when I'm staying at that hotel. She'd love it; sitting there on the window sill staring; making the strange little chirping sound she makes whenever she's trying to encourage me to let her out "so she can hunt." I have a feeling she's all talk, but it doesn't keep her from trying to make me think it's my fault she's not outside being the predator she's convinced she's meant to be. Well, this last week, the bunnies added to the show. Evidently, it's mating season. Holy moly. I mean, I see rabbits mating here at home on my property every now and again. Since I've lived here, I think I've noticed the bunnies humping in my back yard on three or four occasions. But last week on the berm, it was a bunny porn show. There was Jack the Rabbit servicing multiple partners back to back. I saw Ron Jere-bunny lighting cigarettes for three or four worn out females who all complained that that's all he wanted; that he never calls the next day and, really, it wasn't that good anyway. I'll bet I saw at least twenty-five mating scenes out there over the course of four evenings during a total of maybe forty-five minutes of berm-TV. (About the only time I stand out there watching is while I'm puffing. It's a smoke-free hotel, but, alas, I'm still not a smoke-free person.) It was truly funny; almost non-stop. I can critique them too! I don't think I've ever met a human female who'd be satisfied with the ten-second bursts of frenzied fornicating that seems to constitute a "session" for rabbits. And talk about indiscriminate! Let me tell ya, there was a lot of swapping going on out there - the sluts. The upshot? Well. With apologies to those of you who dislike swearing... If anyone ever tells you that you f*ck like a bunny? -Be very insulted. Be good to everyone. |
posted by: Ladyg (reply)
post date: 01.27.09 (7:47 am)
LOL a real porn show right from your window.
posted by: OldSchool (reply)
post date: 01.27.09 (7:49 am)
Some fine comedic writing there Surr.
I think this makes you some sort of rabbit pervert though. Next thing you are going to start video taping the show and putting it out on Youtube. It could lead to a whole other career! You could be the Ed Wood of Rabbit Porn.
Thanks for the chuckle.
posted by: mimi (reply)
post date: 01.27.09 (8:41 am)
I concur with oldschool! what a visual! and all that action without the benefit of a kiss! LOLOLOL!!!!
xoxo
posted by: auntconi (reply)
post date: 01.27.09 (9:08 am)
Hmmm ~ by the name of your post I was visualizing bunnies serving cocktails in scant costuming with big fluffy tails ~ what was that club called?
:)
posted by: alaskawildflowers (reply)
post date: 01.27.09 (9:42 am)
hee hee hee! I laughed about the rabbits, but your cat made me smile, too. Our store kitty is no hunter-- our store is backed up to the grocery store, and in the winter the deermice come in-- the kitty will come tell us there's a mouse back there...
posted by: bawdy (reply)
post date: 01.27.09 (12:02 pm)
Haha..they'd be hopping mad if they read your critique of their escapades.
posted by: PirateGirl (reply)
post date: 01.27.09 (1:07 pm)
What? ..No mints on the pillows? - Well, at least you didn't have to pay extra for the bunny show!
posted by: barnabus1 (reply)
post date: 01.27.09 (1:10 pm)
Hmmm I thought there was a law against fornicating in public...maybe the police should have come and arrested them..might be a good show for the prisnors in jail!!
posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 01.27.09 (5:31 pm)
Reply to: Ladyg
I know. Pretty weird. But, like a car accident, I found I couldn't look away.
posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 01.27.09 (5:33 pm)
Reply to: OldSchool
I'll start going to meetings.
"Hello. My name is surrogate... and I'm... I'm a rabbit pervert."
"Hello, surrogate." (polite applause...)
posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 01.27.09 (5:34 pm)
Reply to: mimi
You know, you're right. I never saw a single kiss.
posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 01.27.09 (5:35 pm)
Reply to: auntconi
I'm not sure... It rings a bell though... Owned by Heff-bunny... Hmm.
posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 01.27.09 (5:36 pm)
Reply to: alaskawildflowers
I like that.
Do deer-mice have cute little itsy-bitsy antlers?
posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 01.27.09 (5:37 pm)
Reply to: bawdy
Heh-heh, heh-heh... Bawdy made a punny.
posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 01.27.09 (5:38 pm)
Reply to: PirateGirl
Nope; no mints. -Rabbit droppings.
posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 01.27.09 (5:41 pm)
Reply to: barnabus1
These are flagrant law-breakers, barnabus. They DARE us to arrest them. In fact, I'm thinking we need a bunny-porn czar. -I'm thinking someone from South Dakota. -Maybe an older guy with experience in such things...
posted by: barnabus1 (reply)
post date: 01.27.09 (7:10 pm)
Reply to: surrogate
I would think some of those outdoorsmen from Michigan might be a far better choice!! hehe
posted by: PirateGirl (reply)
post date: 01.27.09 (7:23 pm)
Reply to: surrogate
*ACK!* :P
posted by: auntconi (reply)
post date: 01.27.09 (9:11 pm)
Reply to: bawdy
*gg ~ "hopping mad" :)
posted by: PastorDave (reply)
post date: 01.28.09 (7:19 pm)
Well, I typed a comment and got a message saying what I typed contained "content not permitted on this blog". Now, that's a first for me!
posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 01.29.09 (4:11 am)
Reply to: PastorDave
Huh? Really? I've never set any filters or anything... In fact, I've never gotten a massage like that anywhere on tblog. Wonder what sort of combination of words generates that message?
posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 01.29.09 (4:26 am)
Reply to: PastorDave
Geez... I meant "message".
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