Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2009 December
2009 November
2009 October
2009 September
2009 August
2009 July
2009 June
2009 May
2009 April
2009 March
2009 February
2009 January
2008 December
2008 November
2008 October
2008 September
2008 August
2008 July
2008 June
2008 May
2008 April
2008 March
2008 February
2008 January
2007 December
2007 November
2007 October
2007 September
2007 August
2007 July
2007 June
2007 May
2007 April
2007 March
2007 February
2007 January
2006 December
2006 November
2006 October
2006 September
2006 August
2006 July
2006 June
2006 May
2006 April
2006 March
2006 February
2006 January
2005 December
2005 November
2005 October
2005 September
2005 August
2005 July
2005 June
2005 May
2005 April
2005 March
2005 February
2005 January
2004 December
2004 November
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
| Life goes on, but it marks us... |
| 03.17.09 (9:42 am) [edit] |
Good morning Boys and Girls.I have a new facial feature that really pisses me off. Did I complain as my hair fell out? No. No I didn't. I knew it was on the horizon from the time I was a kid when my Mom explained something she'd learned, perhaps in one of the occasional classes she took at the local community college. "Did you know that the gene that determines baldness is passed down from the mother, and that if her father is bald, it's very likely that her male children will be bald as well?" I'm no dummy. I processed the information quickly. Oh, great, I thought at the time - I think I was was about eight or nine - so because Grandpa is bald, that means I'll probably be bald too. Wonderful. I thought of my Grandpa in the pulpit Sunday mornings, and saw the light reflecting off his head as he preached; and going to the barber's with him up at the cottage in the summers when his haircuts took all of a minute and a half. I can still see him flipping the quarter tip to the barber. Or was the quarter the entire charge? Could be. I don't remember that part very clearly, except for the expert flipping and his hearty laugh. So, as my hairline receded during my thirties and early forties, I was resigned to the inevitability. My own head too would soon shine away in the sunlight. Over the years I've accepted this without any real complaints. As a defense mechanism, I adopted the "some heads are perfect, and some need to be covered with hair" philosophy. And even so, as it happened, people would tell me that I looked young for my age. A couple of years ago, when I turned fifty, people I worked around seemed genuinely shocked I was that old. Now though... Grrrr. About six weeks ago while shaving, a new "wrinkle" decided to present itself into the mix. And, in fact, it IS a wrinkle, or better said, wrinkles, (perhaps I should change the metaphor in the previous sentence) I'm talking about. A brand spanking new set of lines running vertically from the bottom of my chin down to the top of my breastbone. Four of them. They are truly ugly and I swear they weren't there even as recently as the turn of the new year, and of course I can't look into the mirror to shave without having them jump out at me and scream, "Hey old man, look at us! Don't be careless with that blade in your hand. You could cut us!" All of a sudden, I find myself watching infomercials about ridiculously priced skin tightening creams, and the idea of face-lifts doesn't seem quite as crazy to me as it has in the past. I am not a vain man. I swear, but... but... What's next? I've already got the annoying nose-hair, ear-hair thing going, and though I need bifocals, I've avoided them like the plague. I love that I can wear short pants in the summer at work, but what if I find myself wearing black sock and sandals along with them? AHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh! By the way, my haircuts now take about a minute and a half. Fondly remembering my Grandpa again, I flipped a quarter tip to the gal who cut my hair the other day. She scowled, called me a cheap bastard, and threw it back. Thankfully, the welt on my forehead is healing nicely. Be good to everyone. |
posted by: OldSchool (reply)
post date: 03.17.09 (7:33 am)
Entertaining post as usual.
Just be careful with all of those cosmetic treatments and procedures because once you start you could end up looking like Joan Rivers. Yeah it starts with something for your neck, but soon you are injecting botulism into your face and you have a perpetual look of surprise. It's not worth it.
posted by: emerging (reply)
post date: 03.17.09 (8:28 am)
I'll be happy to hook you up with my Mary Kay lady. She'll sell you creams that will surely shave 20 years off your appearance. Even if they don't work, at least you'll get a free facial and you'll feel a little lighter (in the wallet, anyway).
posted by: mimi (reply)
post date: 03.17.09 (9:23 am)
Reply to: emerging
glad to know you are a loyal MK gal! I can also provide the above mentioned! : )
xoxo
posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 03.17.09 (10:25 am)
Reply to: OldSchool
I'm too cheap to buy ANYTHING for my face. I figure I yam what I yam.
posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 03.17.09 (10:26 am)
Reply to: emerging
I've met her. She'd have me putting more stuff on my body that I could stand in no time. You'll just have to decide if you can stand looking at me.
posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 03.17.09 (10:26 am)
Reply to: mimi
You get a pink caddy yet?
posted by: auntconi (reply)
post date: 03.17.09 (10:33 am)
All I can suggest to reduce the swelling is a bag of frozen peas to be placed on the welt on your forehead ~ oh, wait ... you cooked those for dinner on Sunday ~ sorry! It is probably going down by now anyway!
"I yam what I yam" ~ that isn't the same as sweet potatoes, right?
posted by: mimi (reply)
post date: 03.17.09 (11:10 am)
Reply to: surrogate
no, just a grey pick-up truck : )
xoxo
posted by: barnabus1 (reply)
post date: 03.17.09 (12:36 pm)
I guess you just gotta be you...hairless, wrinkles and all...once you start using something to hide em...you gotta use it forever...and have a very thin wallet! but...it will be lighter to carry!!
posted by: bawdy (reply)
post date: 03.17.09 (1:31 pm)
Haha..soon you'll stocking up on Depends. Well..you asked what's next!!
posted by: fractalmom (reply)
post date: 03.17.09 (3:57 pm)
so yah. last week i was just walking along, and happened to look in the mirror.
my damn AUNT was in there, looking back at me. how she got in there i'll never understand.
don't have a clue where I went???
posted by: inkspector (reply)
post date: 03.17.09 (5:13 pm)
My dh has been looking forward to going bald for years.
He says he will save lots of money by not having to get his hair cut.
Funny how things go south on us as we age.
posted by: suddenlyold (reply)
post date: 03.22.09 (3:50 pm)
I love your comical remarks about the baldness.I recently went for a job interview and never felt so old as that day after the interviewer said to me, "This job calls for physical capabilities such as climbing up stairs and getting on your knees. Do you think you can handle that?" I just turned 55 not 80 for crying out loud.I'm not crippled and go up & down stairs everyday at home. I don't have wrinkles yet but do have a double chin (I hate)and bags under my eyes from a thyroid condition. On top of this my teenaged daughter wore makeup for a play and immediately washed it off when she got home. I asked her what the hurry was & she said, "I don't want to look old like you, Mom. You do have bags under your eyes." Suddenly I feel so old
Cost of the War in Iraq
(JavaScript Error)
|
American Deaths in Iraq:
|